Domestic violence exists in all social and economic strata. The violence is psychological, physical and sexual.
The violence between the couple starts with fights, fights with heavy words, continues with throwing or breaking objects, repeated each time by taking steps resulting in beatings.
After dignity, respect and mutual respect are lost, the goal is mutual annihilation. The perpetrator’s violence is intended to diminish the victim, to make the victim feel guilt, powerlessness and shame. This is achieved by swearing, humiliation, questioning in front of others, cutting off from relatives, parents, friends, and by controlling every activity. The main reasons for violence are jealousy, anger and the attempt to exert power.
In many cases, such conflicts lead to parental alienation, because each person tries to turn the children against the other. Most of the victims are women. However, a notable number are with male victims. In many countries, such as Cyprus, for example, 20% of domestic violence incidents have male victims, while there are no official figures for Greece.
Some tolerate violence, while others resort to violent defence. The most serious reason why male victims do not report incidents of violence is because they feel ashamed and believe they will be ridiculed, while almost all of them report it after separation.
In most incidents of violence the role of the perpetrator and the victim can be distinguished with relative ease. In contrast, in domestic violence this is not always the case. The gradual escalation of violence on both sides means that when the fight is over, the traumas rarely reveal who was the aggressor and who responded violently to the initial attack. Thus often the role of the aggressor and the victim is difficult to distinguish.
The efforts of psychologists, marriage counsellors and the State, which recently abolished the costs of court fees, are remarkable.
However, when referring to domestic violence, we must not forget that the dark figure of criminality in these incidents is very high and that the crimes that are reported and reach the judicial authorities are far fewer than those that actually occur, making any placement and care quite difficult to help eliminate.
Nikolaos Pelekasis was trained in Greece and abroad in group and individual security and served in intelligence agencies.
Domestic violence with male victims.
Detective Pelekasis Nikos.
Sheet No. 399
13 April 2012